tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76158418442784286792024-02-07T04:44:31.667-06:00Just the 6 of usGod doesn't give children with special
needs to strong people; He gives children with special needs to
ordinary, weak people and then gives them strength. Raising a child
with special needs doesn't TAKE a special family, it MAKES a special
family.Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.comBlogger348125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-2879421345526802992012-08-06T22:45:00.004-05:002012-08-06T22:51:21.439-05:00I realize you may think I fell off the face of the earthI keep thinking I need to update the blog and let you all know how our family is doing. A lot has happened since we left the hospital last August. I will tell you that Matthew is doing well, and THRIVING! He is an amazingly tough boy that has been through a lot in the last year, but is the healthiest he's been in a long time. I'm going to see if I can post weekly and update a month of history at a time.<br />
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August 2011:<br />
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August of last year was a very hard time for us. Matthew had just come home from the hospital after being inpatient for 1 month. He wasn't well when he came home, just not sick enough to be in the hospital. Within 1 week of being home, Matthew's seizures increased to the point we thought he was on the edge of going into<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Status_epilepticus"> status epilepticus</a> again. We knew we couldn't handle another long hospital stay. Matthew was very weak still, and on a lot of medications. After a very tearful conversation with our pediatrician, we didn't feel it was fair to Matthew to add to his suffering, and decided it best to admit Matthew into hospice care. His poor little body didn't seem to be bouncing back like we thought it would. I will tell you this was one of the darkest parts in our married life. It was so hard to tell the kids, so hard to look at Matthew and feel like we were giving up on him. But our goal for Matthew was to add life to his days, and not days to his life. It still brings tears to my eyes to think of that time. Matthew wasn't living anymore, he was existing. And it was hell for him.<br />
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This was the point where my blog went silent. I couldn't bring myself to type it. I couldn't share my emotions, or wonder what people thought of us. I didn't want to be judged by people who weren't walking our walk. I realize our true friends wouldn't have judged, I just didn't want that extra stress. I learned a lot about how I deal with grief. I literally crawled into a shell. We only shared our decision with our close family and a few friends. I didn't want the world to know. It was a very private time for our family. <br />
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Hospice came to our home and explained what they would and could do to help us. They met Matthew, and within 20 minutes of them being in our home, the nurse told us she was pretty sure he was fluid overloaded. We added up his TPN (IV nutrition), IV medications, and g-tube medications and found he was getting about 1700 cc's of fluid a day. That is a LOT of fluid for a 3 year old who is inactive. The nurses also figured that since he was fluid overloaded, the body was trying to get rid of so much fluid, it wasn't allowing his intestines to even absorb his medications. They suggested an immediate reduction in fluid. They also gave a seizure medication subcutaneously so his body could absorb it. Within 24 hours he was a new child. What a whole group of specialists at a hospital failed to notice, was picked up by a hospice nurse within 20 minutes. It was such an easy fix, and something that, because it was missed, almost cost him his life.<br />
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A lot of other decisions went into what things we would provide and wouldn't provide for Matthew , but we decided we'd had enough with TPN. He wasn't thriving, it caused his sepsis, and his fluid overload. We wanted to be done with it. We made the decision to switch him over to formula, slowly over the course of a week or so, and only give him the amount of formula his body could handle. We would let his body decide if it wanted to continue of if he couldn't keep going. Within a few weeks, he was completely off TPN, and on tube feedings again. Surprisingly without any problems, and on a much lower amount of fluid.<br />
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By the end of August, his seizures were better, he wasn't receiving medications subcutaneously anymore, and he was off TPN. We had scheduled to have his port removed (it had been in while we were running the antibiotics, and was considered contaminated) and he was starting to turn around. He was starting to LIVE again. He was living and thriving on hospice. What an oxymoron. We still had a ways to go. We weren't sure what was going to happen, but we decided to let Matthew and his body dictate what we do.<br />
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Next post: September<br />
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<br />Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-40941797946377261292011-10-04T18:59:00.000-05:002011-10-04T18:59:53.841-05:00It's been awhile Sorry for the lack of the blog update; but life has gotten in the way of blogging. I have lots to share, but time is not on my side right now. I do have time to show you a sweet picture from a photo shoot my friend<a href="http://www.keeslerchaos.blogspot.com/"> Beth</a> did in our home a couple weeks ago. Does anyone know who told this little boy it was ok to look so grown up??<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieE9x0wU0z8oVbCgxXWjAiz5QsVhS4pGN2fcc_sKe8uX5WIlquPiUfUY6ZBk8PqAYbmgZ8QekdvORIJHBaWyq3rETMtUkr_GQm6BvY-vj7ujQGPUX-zeP7cjFASosgqyoV6so72DsqeX_H/s1600/09+15+11+030_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieE9x0wU0z8oVbCgxXWjAiz5QsVhS4pGN2fcc_sKe8uX5WIlquPiUfUY6ZBk8PqAYbmgZ8QekdvORIJHBaWyq3rETMtUkr_GQm6BvY-vj7ujQGPUX-zeP7cjFASosgqyoV6so72DsqeX_H/s640/09+15+11+030_edited-1.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-62431027196534903192011-08-15T23:03:00.000-05:002011-08-16T00:04:47.656-05:00First Day of School<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div> Today marked the first day of school for the year. Oh, I was not ready for school to start; not ready for my babies to be gone again (other than when they fight!) and not ready for cooler weather and shorter days. But alas, no one asked me if I was ready; and time marches on.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeO9DK624HYFIA8uaO8H0C67w83EVJmkwmi8KwHkzk2KLhxQkdrMj5_3ILYHKBYR5NV6Zk6XmDGEVUvDgrrex19b3fNjl7XUsmM9rlz4Bc5W2s6nbdObs8y5b5iA0YSowpCsagrdFhv1PJ/s1600/066.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeO9DK624HYFIA8uaO8H0C67w83EVJmkwmi8KwHkzk2KLhxQkdrMj5_3ILYHKBYR5NV6Zk6XmDGEVUvDgrrex19b3fNjl7XUsmM9rlz4Bc5W2s6nbdObs8y5b5iA0YSowpCsagrdFhv1PJ/s640/066.JPG" width="480" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Obligatory 1st day of school picture on the front step..it's a tradition! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLd3_KIEUdT2hu77s4HCZGdFRQQzT7tUzJIt7jqMkjfpMBoKP3byCATxlFQNL0BqDv9rR-nbY2cc7iT8lLix4VmVCU-CDvk20ZEr4T7PgEPZW4oH9cFId-0yD8NNtJ2F7kOKCWnPE99nST/s1600/067.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLd3_KIEUdT2hu77s4HCZGdFRQQzT7tUzJIt7jqMkjfpMBoKP3byCATxlFQNL0BqDv9rR-nbY2cc7iT8lLix4VmVCU-CDvk20ZEr4T7PgEPZW4oH9cFId-0yD8NNtJ2F7kOKCWnPE99nST/s640/067.JPG" width="480" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Mason-2nd grade</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr56lUYvTgb0Wx6-JCFYusbFB5SPLWJmQaYMJgmQjOHO4hUQd7BPNGGO16_exi0S4EDb7amr9LApCt4VPuXU9Y07EuQuzbAO5Cw9fNLxfjONTNjCInRB6v2S7aJINfX36bo6w8-WesnpU7/s1600/069.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr56lUYvTgb0Wx6-JCFYusbFB5SPLWJmQaYMJgmQjOHO4hUQd7BPNGGO16_exi0S4EDb7amr9LApCt4VPuXU9Y07EuQuzbAO5Cw9fNLxfjONTNjCInRB6v2S7aJINfX36bo6w8-WesnpU7/s640/069.JPG" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">and Micah-8th grade (who thinks he's too big for 1st day of school pictures)</div>Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-21967555260853719252011-08-03T10:17:00.000-05:002011-08-03T10:17:17.773-05:00Today just may be the daySince Friday, a lot has happened. I was told, through the resident, that our surgeon was on vacation, and the other surgeons weren't willing to operate on his hernia because he wasn't there patient. Well, I came unglued then. I try very hard to not lose my marbles while I'm in the hospital, but I wasn't ok with that answer. If the hernia truly was causing the problem; I wanted it gone now. After much visiting (and possibly a few tears on my part...I'll never tell) with the charge nurse; she called the surgeons and brought them directly to my room. After chatting with them, I realized it was a communication error. Yes, they didn't want to operate on him, but it was because they didn't know what to do with the hernia. It didn't have intestinal involvement (it's filled with fluid from tip of his shunt), but because it was pressing on the esophagus, they didn't know what would be the best answer for Matthew. He is a "fragile" child, and they didn't want to cause more harm than good. I completely understood. Communication is a brilliant thing! Our surgeon wouldn't be back till Wednesday, and we would talk then.<br />
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Saturday and Sunday were pretty much lazy days. Nothing new happened over the weekend; and we talked about dismissal Monday. Matthew's retching had improved and we were comfortable with him being home, and figuring out where to go from here once we were settled.<br />
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Monday, as meds were being ordered, dismissal papers signed; Infectious disease doctors walked in the room. Matthew had developed a cough that morning, and he was really mucousy. They took a listen to him and said that they thought he had pneumonia. A chest x-ray was done with a comfirmation of pneumonia. Twice now this little boy has skirted dismissal! They doc's wanted to keep him another couple days to see which way the pneumonia would go, and give him (yet another) IV antibiotic for a few days before we switched over to oral antibiotics. I reluctantly agreed. I didn't want him to get home and get significantly worse. By evening he was on oxygen anyway.<br />
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Yesterday we were able to visit with palliative care again (they've been wonderful...I would suggest ANYONE with a chronically ill child...even if don't have a child as fragile as Matthew....to get in touch with them...they are fantastic) and discuss our desires and wants for Matthew. They helped encourage the medical team to allow us to go home. Not that they have been against it; but it just works so nicely to work with a team. So today, barring that Matthew doesn't change his mind, we are getting outta here! 29 days is too long!Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-83974505980440019772011-07-29T12:07:00.000-05:002011-07-29T12:07:13.739-05:00It's friday...and we are still here. <br />
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Wednesday, due to all of the retching, they did a shunt series (x-ray) and a CT of the head to make sure his shunt was working properly. That checked out fine, but I found out Wednesday night that on the xray of his shunt, they saw a "mass" behind his heart. Matthew was already scheduled for an MRI of his brain, and his botox on Thursday, so they added on a CT of the chest. I was a little freaked. I mean, the kid doesn't need one more thing and the "c" word was brought up. I didn't want to freak though, and didn't even google it (which is a first for me).<br />
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Thursday afternoon, we learned the results. His MRI is unchanged (they were looking for a chairi malformation..which can cause retching) but his CT showed a diaphragmatic hernia that was fluid filled, and pressing on his esophagus. The doctors seem to think it is very plausible that this is what has been causing his retching at least for the last few months. It's also possible that it isn't the case, but we gotta hope, right?? <br />
Surgery came by last evening and was concerned it was fluid filled. It didn't make clinical sense to them (I didn't understand why it puzzled them, but asking them just confused me more), why there was fluid in it, so they ordered an upper GI, and possibly an aspiration of the fluid from it (don't have any clue how they'd aspirate it, but it sounded not comfortable). <br />
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Preliminary upper GI results from this morning say that there is no stomach involvement, which I believe is good. I got a chance to talk the radiologist, and asked her about the fluid in the hernia. What she said made complete sense. Because he has a shunt that empties fluid into his abdomen, fluid is going to get caught in the hernia. Why didn't I think of that? It's about a 5cm all the way around hernia, which I guess I understand is fairly large for his size. The surgeons seem to be dragging there feet to do anything about this on a Friday, but I am not done fighting this battle, especially since everyone seems to think this is causing his retching, and is making him miserable.<br />
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And as an added bonus {insert sarcasm}, they saw another clot in his jugular vein on the CT. Infectious disease says that now we have a total of 3 clots (one in his heart, one in his subclavian vein, and now one in his jugular) that there is a good possibility of a clotting disorder. WONDERFUL; exactly what Matthew needs; one more specialist.<br />
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We were hoping this weekend we'd be able to go, but it looks like that won't be the case. It's gonna be a few more days at least.<br />
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He is still requiring a LOT of ativan to keep him somewhat comfortable (enough to sedate a horse, actually...and that isn't an overstatement. The kid metabolizes it like crazy!), so we're hoping the surgery and fixing the hernia will make a big difference for him. I think he's trying to set a record for the amount of procedures needing anesthesia in one hospital stay.Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-43591567816581704292011-07-27T00:49:00.000-05:002011-07-27T00:49:56.533-05:00Still hereMatthew is still at Children's. Retching, has become a real problem. He is requiring 7 times the normal amount of his medication that we use to control the vomiting. He is scheduled for an MRI and rebotoxing his salivary glands (this helps with his secretions) on Thursday. He has been back on TPN since Monday, and the retching is no better. The doctors are unsure now if it is brain related, GI related, or secretion related. This is the only thing keeping us in the hospital. We're praying they'll figure something out on Thursday that will help him. <br />
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His arm is not swollen anymore, so I believe the clot in his arm is gone. I believe they will look at his heart again before we leave to see if the vegetation is smaller in his heart. They do not want us going home on TPN and neither do we. That is what started this whole ordeal in the beginning. When he is ready for discharge, he will go home on two IV antibiotics for the next (at least) 4 weeks.<br />
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So basically, we've gotta get his retching under control. It's worse than it ever been (and that's saying a lot), but he still manages to smile in between. He's a strong kid! Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-15622454926388039542011-07-22T00:07:00.000-05:002011-07-22T00:07:11.840-05:00pluggin along...Matthew is slowly showing progress each day. By Monday, I got my first smiles from him.<br />
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<ul><li>His arm is still puffy from the clot in his vein, but today is the first day I can say that I think it's starting to get smaller.</li>
</ul><ul><li>His kidneys are back working in full function. He is getting two different antibiotics in his IV. One every 8 hours and one every 12 hours</li>
<li>He is having lots and lots of retching; more than we've ever seen before. We've been problem solving for the last few days, and we think we may have finally figured out a couple of reasons why 1) since he was so sick, his brain is still agitated. This is common when brains aren't 'wired" correctly. This should get better as Matthew heals. 2) we had to take him off the medication that he takes for gastric motility as it can interfere with one of the antibiotics and cause "sudden cardiac death"..yikes. The doctors are collaborating and trying to figure out the motility issues, and we are giving him extra ativan while his brain is "angry". That has seemed to help today.</li>
</ul><ul><li>Daily rounds have taken on more of a light hearted tone. The doctors today told me how worried they were that Matthew might not make it. . It's nice to hear them laughing and joking, versus talking in quiet serious voices.</li>
</ul>Steve, in his true ornery fashion, is back and at it as like nothing happened. They have not come up with a cause for his temporary paralysis and weakness, but are guessing that it was a stress response (he denies this..of course) He sure scared us (and himself if he is completely honest)<br />
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I'm going home this weekend to work, and Steve is taking bedside vigil with Matthew. It will be good to get away for a while, but I will miss my little guy. I miss my big kids so much. They are in SD and having a good time, being spoiled rotten. I can't wait to get home, and spend the last couple weeks with them before school starts. We sure are hoping by the beginning of next week we can go home!Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-80964270560700425372011-07-17T23:27:00.000-05:002011-07-17T23:27:25.509-05:007/17Just gonna give some bullet point updates:<br />
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<ul><li>Steve came home from the hospital today. He slowly gained the ability to control his arms and legs on Saturday. This morning he was able to walk with the help of the nurse. It is still very exhausting, slow work for him to walk at all. He is home with a walker, and is only moving from bed to bathroom or chair. He is very weak, but each day we've seen improvements. We have no idea what caused this attack on his body. West Nile Virus testing will be a couple more days before results, but otherwise everything else is coming back negative. He did have mono a month ago, so maybe his body was still weak from that and some weird virus got him, we don't know.</li>
<li>Matthew is continuing to get a little better every day. Last night, His left arm got really puffy and he acted like it really hurt him. The doctors looked at it and ordered an ultrasound. The ultrasound done last night (about 1 am Sunday morning) was inconclusive, but this morning around 8 am the radiologist requested to re do the ultrasound himself, and found a 2cm clot in his subclavian vein attached to the port and the vein. His port still functions, the clot is on the other side of the port, maybe best to explain it as "upstream" from the port, but none the less, the 1 week old port must come out. This means surgery AGAIN for Matthew. Grr. The hardest part is now going to be figuring out what kind of venous access to put in. He is not a PICC candidate because the left arm has a clot and the right arm is where the origional infection was. He most likely will get a femoral central line or a intrajugular line. Both have risks, but without venous access, Matthew most likely won't be able to fight off the infection. He was also started on lovenox to prevent any other clots from happening, and the hemotology doc's want a couple days of that on board, and then off it a couple days before they can do surgery. Not sure when this surgery will happen.</li>
<li>I was able to get out of the hospital and spend some time with the kids and Steve at home. Chrissy was able to stay again with Matthew for the afternoon, and I also got a much needed nap. My parents took the kids back to South Dakota tonight for a week or two, and Steve's mom will stay one more day with Steve, and then we're going to (hopefully) coerce him to come and stay up in the hospital with me for a couple of days so I can keep an eye on him.</li>
</ul>Thank you again for everything you are all doing for us. We have the best support anyone could ask for. From church family, friends, family and readers of our blog...we are the most blessed!! God is good!Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-73184365708649801752011-07-15T23:30:00.000-05:002011-07-15T23:30:10.534-05:007/15Too tired to type much, but didn't want to leave you hanging. Steve is stable. He is at St. Elizabeth's. Not sure what is wrong. Soon after his chest pain, he had weakness over all of his extremities, and was unable to move them. His heart checked out normal, they didn't think he had a stroke, but couldn't figure out why the paralysis. He was able to feel us touch, but unable to move. He could only move his head, and he couldn't even take in a deep breath. He went into a very sleepy spell in the ER where they couldn't even wake him up; even pinching him. He is resting better tonight, and when I left, he was able to move his hands. I had to feed him supper tonight, cuz he couldn't do that. I did get an update about 10:30 tonight, that he was moving his hands to his face. UNBELIEVABLE! Thank you for praying. I will do a better job of updating once I get some sleep.<br />
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And Matthew had an okay, a touch better again. He is resting comfortably and his body is fighting. I had so many offers today from friends to come sit with Matthew (wow!) and our friend Chrissy spent the day with him. <br />
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We couldn't have gotten through this without all of you! Thank you so much for praying, visiting, texting and loving on us! WOW.<br />
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Good night.Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-56239265129419736262011-07-15T10:40:00.001-05:002011-07-15T10:40:50.438-05:00URGENT!!Steve just called from home, he was having chest pain and I made him call 911. He has a history of heart issues. PLEASE PRAY!Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-63774467713407799012011-07-14T17:16:00.000-05:002011-07-14T17:16:53.869-05:00Today's updateYesterday was hard. Real hard. Lots of doctors; lots of decisions, lots of different opinions on what would happen. Nothing a parent wants to hear. My mom and dad drove in from SD. Steve came. Matthew was sick. We had lots of Dr.'s coming in and out. We couldn't keep Matthew's fever down, and he was pasty white with cold hands and feet. Matthew was septic. The piece of bacteria in his heart had reinfected either his blood or his lungs or both. Some doctors painted more of a dismal picture than others. After we'd collected all the data from the doctor's and prayed; we felt like we needed to decide what would be best for Matthew. Comfort was number 1. Medications were ordered for comfort. Antibiotics were changed and added. We learned that his kidneys had taken a hit from the sepsis, although they were still producing urine. We will monitor his kidneys and his breathing status closely. We will help his body breathe if he needs it. We will give his body a good chance to fight this.<br />
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He had a decent night with only one bought of pain in the evening that was quickly remedied with Morphine. He has slept almost the whole time, and that is ok.<br />
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Today, looks a touch improved. He has spells where he is breathing easier. His color is a bit better. He recieved a blood transfusion today because his hemoglobin is low. He is still getting low grade fevers and he is still asleep. But he is breathing on his OWN and still making urine.<br />
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Thank you Thank you everyone for praying, for sending texts, for your kind words on facebook. It is overwhelming and I have no words to describe it. Please continue to pray. God is listening. He always does.<br />
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We have prepared ourselves (if one can do that) for the worst; but are pleading to God for the best. When you have a child with special needs, you always wonder "when, and how". I know Matthew's lifespan will not be as long as you and I. We know that one of these times, God will not answer our prayers in the way we are asking, but it will still be in His will, and His time, and God will still be good. He's good all the time. I, of course am praying that he will be healed; but even more I am seeking God's will. He knows what is good for us. Matthew's little life has lessons for us, and we do not know what his struggles will teach someone else. And this life is not Matthew's eternal home. He has so much waiting for him; there will be many "stars in his crown". He is a fighter and a blessing. We love him very much, but we are the ones that will have it hardest when he isn't here; not him. So, the only, ONLY thing we as parents are trying to do, is not be selfish.<br />
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Please continue to pray. Your kind words mean so much to us all. If you are wondering what you can do for us, please pray. Pray for strength, wisdom and healing. I will do my best to keep all updated so you know how to pray.Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-13826657330243440142011-07-13T13:09:00.000-05:002011-07-13T13:09:10.995-05:00Very sickMatthew has gotten very sick over the last 12 hours. He is spiking horrible fevers, and his kidneys aren't working very good anymore. He is very very sick. His skin pale they are saying he is septic. Please pray for our little guy. We are so scared for him.Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-16252321908662617632011-07-12T22:21:00.001-05:002011-07-12T22:23:34.672-05:00Going home...or notToday was supposed to be the day we were going home. The doc's had decided this morning to do an echocardiogram of his heart to make sure that no bacteria had deposited itself in his his heart. The term they used was called "vegetation". While the echo was ordered for around 9am, it took till almost 2pm for them to do it. We had gone over dismissal orders and I'd showered and packed our bags, formula and supplies had been brought by from home health. When I was watching the echo, I thought something looked funny in his right atrium. Something big was bouncing around in there. I don't know much about the heart, but it didn't look like a valve, and there wasn't something like it on the other side. The tech also measured it, so I had my suspicions,but I tried to remain positive.<br />
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Around 4, the doctor came in and told us they had found a "vegetation" of bacteria in his right atrium and they would consult with cardiology and infectious disease. The cardiologist came in and gave an indepth explanation. Luckily, they didn't think they needed to go in and surgically remove it. He hadn't looked at the echo, but was going to look at it, and was hoping we could also stay away from heparin. We would need to do 6 weeks of antibiotics, and frequent echocardiograms. He wanted at least the first three weeks to be done from the hospital. If you can imagine each time the blood swishes through the heart, it comes in contact with the bacteria; so it will be important to keep the antibiotics going for a long period of time. Also part of this bacteria can break off and go to the lungs and cause what's called a pulmonary embolism. That also isn't good either. Eventually this piece of growth should shrink and become more like a scar, and then it won't be harmful.<br />
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About 1/2 hour later, the doctor came back and they felt like it was necessary for him to be on heparin, which means he needed to go to modified ICU.<br />
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Once we moved floors, we talked about the fact that his antibiotics and heparin could not go in the same line together. Matthew only has one line. They talked about an IV, but Matthew doesn't have any place left to put an IV in. His last IV was in his finger, not a good place for antibiotics OR heparin. So the decision was made tonight to put him on Lovenox instead of heparin, which can be given as a tiny shot in his leg twice a day.<br />
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Here are some of the things swimming around in my head. First, Matthew is enrolled in Palliative care here at the hospital. I don't think I've ever talked about it. Palliative care IS NOT hospice. Palliative care is about helping us make really good decisions that are best for Matthew, and don't always mean doing everything medical possible. That gives us liberty to easily say NO to things, or how can we do this so Matthew does not have to be in the hospital so much. It's given us the opportunity to have discussions with care givers beforehand about what we would like for Matthew. It helps us give Matthew quality, and with maybe the sacrifice of quantity.Making it reasonably safe for Matthew, but maybe taking risks that one may not normally take. Case in point: Letting Matthew go home on IV antibiotics, knowing that there is a chance part of that could break off and be potentially lethal. If he were in the hospital, he would have a team readily available to do EVERYTHING to him; at home, he would be comfortable. As a family, we want Matthew to be at home as much as possible and take some risks, knowing that Matthew is happier at home. Make sense? Maybe not, but we have chosen this for Matthew. I personally know that I want quality good time while I am on this earth..not just to exist here.<br />
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This new finding is not something to take lightly, there are lots of complications, (some that I haven't mentioned) that could arise from this. We are being very cautiously optomistic that he will pull through this like a champ. He has overcome lots of things in his short little life. He IS a fighter.Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-11956576295262446882011-07-10T23:27:00.000-05:002011-07-10T23:27:01.358-05:00Events over the last week...a.k.a we're in the hospital again.We're in the hospital again. Matthew has been hospitalized since last Wednesday with a really horrible infection. A lot has happened, and I have neglected the blog; finding it easier to update facebook. However not everyone that loves Matthew is on my facebook, so I need to get the blog updated. I'm going to give a short break down of the last few days.<br />
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<ul><li>Last Wednesday June 29th, during the morning, Matthew's port needle came dislodged while his TPN was being infused. As a result, a large amount of TPN was infused under his skin instead of his blood stream. We caught it when he started screaming. It's a very painful thing to happen. We called his nurse and she sent us to the ER. TPN can kill/damage skin tissue; so it's a dangerous thing to happen. The ER sent us home, saying just to watch it, and bring him back if the skin started changing colors<br />
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<li>Over the next couple days we had multiple problems with Matthew's port needles not wanting to stay in an getting dislodged, luckily not while the TPN was going though. </li>
</ul><ul><li>Monday, when the nurse came to the house to draw labs from his port line, the line would not draw. She made us an appointment for Wednesday morning for another nurse to come out and put TPA in the line. This is a medicine that breaks up blood clots in the line and allows it to draw.</li>
</ul><ul><li>Wednesday while the nurse was at the home, Matthew became very fussy and started throwing up uncontrollably. I gave him medicine to stop the vomiting, and it only got worse. By the time she had put the medicine in the line, Matthew started feeling warm. He had a fever of 102.4. The nurse called our doctor and left a message. She left (around 10 am) and had to come back in 2 hours to remove the medicine from his port. 1/2 hour later, he was breathing rapidly and I put his pulse ox on to check his sats. His heart rate was way up, but his oxygen was still good. By 11:30, (1 1/2 hours after the nurse left)Matthew couldn't keep his oxygen levels up and I put him on oxygen. His heart rate had climbed to 190. He was miserable. By noon, he had a fever of 105. I had already given tylenol and we applied cool washclothes to his head and body. When our nurse came back, she drew the medicine out and drew the bloodwork we needed. But it was also obvious we needed to get Matthew to the hospital, and we called 911 since I had no one at home to help me transport him.</li>
</ul><ul><li>Once at the hospital, they drew bloodwork, gave ibuprofin, antibiotics, and admitted us. We ruled out a bladder infection, and his chest xray looked a bit different from the ones he's had in the past, but not much. His fever came down and he rested pretty comfortably the rest of the day.</li>
<li>Thursday around 3 am, Matthew woke me up crying uncontrollably. Then his whole body got really stiff, and ice cold. It was obvious he was getting the chills, but he also wasn't responsive. The nurses administered ativan, and 15 minutes later, he came out of it. At that point he didn't have a fever, but within 15 minutes, he spiked a fever of 104, his heart rate was in the 200's, and he needed more oxygen. It took us till morning to get his fever under control.</li>
<li>Thursday late morning, the decision was made to transfer him to Childrens' hospital. His initial blood cultures were saying he had a staph infection in his blood stream (bacteremia). We also changed antibiotics to reflect the type of infection he had. Matthew was transferred by ambulance and arrived at Children's around 12:30.</li>
<li>Although it was evident Matthew was sick, and I was sure he had an infection in his port, we were still waiting for further cultures to tell us for sure. Friday, Matthew's port again wasn't working, and the nurses were going to remove the needle and put a longer one in. When they removed the needle, pus came out of the needle site. We now proved the port infection. Surgery was called and they scheduled surgery ASAP to take the port out. He went to surgery around 7pm. </li>
<li>Since Matthew would not have any IV access after taking the port out, we had to get an IV in him. The anesthesiologist was kind enough to put him to sleep first, and found 1 vein; in his finger. They put the itty bittyist needle they had in it, and it went in. The port was taken out, and at the same time, changed his g-tube out to a g/j tube (in his belly). We knew he'd need nutrition, and we couldn't run TPN though the finger IV; so we decided the only reliable way to get him nutrition was to put the g/j tube back in. That allows the food to go straight past his stomach, into his intestines, so he can't throw it up.</li>
<li>Matthew came through surgery with flying colors; slept all night friday night, all day Saturday, all night Saturday night. By today (Sunday) at noon, the doctors were concerned. He hadn't woken up, his belly was distended, he was peeing or pooping. Lab work was done, a CT scan was done(to rule out shunt malfunction), and lots and lots of prayers were sent up.</li>
<li>Just about the time every test was done to try to figure why he was sleeping, he woke up. Woke up smiling! We threatened him with an enema, and by the time the nurse got it from pharmacy, he had done the job on his own. We threatened him with a catheter, and 1/2 later he peed. Thank you everyone for praying! Keep them up; we still have a long way to go!</li>
<li>Tomorrow at 3, Matthew will have another port placed, as he still needs IV antibiotics, and no one can believe the finger IV is still working (I know why, though...prayers!) and whenever he gets sick in the future, we will need IV access. He is tolerating feedings well so far at 1/4 strength. I will be happy to say goodbye to TPN. </li>
</ul>I'm not sure how much longer we will be in the hospital, I would think Wednesday would be the soonest. I will try to keep my blog updated. Now that I am caught up; it shouldn't be such a big task. I've also got some things to update on from before Matthew got sick, but that will have to wait till we get home as my pictures are there. <br />
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</ul>Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-79954342848707496942011-06-27T08:15:00.000-05:002011-06-27T08:15:00.192-05:00Another BlogI have started a second blog {call me crazy} so I can keep a record of things that I sew as gifts and such. The first person I knew that quilted kept a photo album full of pictures of all the quilts she made. This is my modern way of doing that. Here's the link: check it out if you'd like! <a href="http://madebymissjill.blogspot.com/">madebymissjill.blogspot.com</a>Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-72663130136584364482011-06-22T23:46:00.000-05:002011-06-22T23:46:27.963-05:00A crazy couple of weeks.We've had a crazy couple of weeks. We got a call the day after Memorial Day from Boston Children's GI clinic saying they would like us to come for some GI testing the end of the month. Matthew's GI doctor had put him on the waiting list to see these GI specialists back in November. We knew it would be awhile, so when we got the call we scrambled into action. As I started working on getting everything in place (medical records, out of state medical coverage, plane tickets, lodging, etc) I ran into one obstacle after another. It was a nightmare. I could write a whole book about the hours of headache trying to get to Boston was. Steve and I both prayed that if this wasn't meant to be that God would close the doors. It sure felt like it wasn't meant to be, but I promised I would be diligent with my endeavors and leave the rest to God. Steve was sick the whole week of the 6th. He couldn't shake it. He was tired; exhausted really. He had a sore throat, and a scratchy cough. Finally, the 13th, he called me and told me to make him a Dr. appointment. He couldn't give any specific symptoms, but just didnt' feel right. The day after the appointment, he got a call from the office that his la test came back that he was positive for mono. <br />
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Wednesday night I put Matthew to bed early, and he slept all night, all day Thursday, and all night Thursday night. Matthew was supposed to go play at our friend, Chrissy's house on Friday, so I could take the kids to my work picnic. Chrissy does respite/ childcare for other kids in her home, most that have special needs like Matthew. We knew that if Matthew was sick, the last thing he needed was to go to Chrissy's. We sadly cancelled our trip and made a Dr. appointment instead. Matthew's mono test came back positive, and I was a bit concerned how Matthew would handle this illness as did his Dr. He was already on oxygen due to his general weakness. She drew some blood and sent us on our way with instructions to watch him closely and advised us travel would not be in Matthew's best interest. The door to Boston had closed. I knew this was our sign. <br />
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Meanwhile, a friend of mine had agreed to watch my other kiddos at a local indoor play area, so they wouldn't totally feel like we missed out of a fun day. While there, Micah was jumping in a bouncy house that had a basketball hoop in it. While dunking a basket ball, his teeth somehow got tangled in the net (I'm envisioning Michael Jordon) and then fell backwards, and completely ripped out his front tooth, root and all (ouch). Steve to the rescue (I was at the Dr.'s office with Matthew), took Micah immediately to the dentist and he pushed it back in the gum. He may still need a root canal, but for now he has a sore mouth and a delicate tooth.<br />
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My parents came for the weekend, and we had a blast. We haven't seen my parents since Christmas, so it was wonderful to have my parents here. After they left, I decided a nice Father's day present would be to clean up our VERY MESSY garage. I started by picking up all the shovels, rakes and such laying on the ground and then I started sweeping. In my diligence, I missed a garden hoe that was laying on the ground, and I stepped on the edge of it; and the handle swung up and whopped me HARD in the face. Immediately I felt blood. Lots of it. I thought for sure I'd knocked out all my teeth. I was sobbing and the kids went running for Steve. After I collected my self (calling Steve outside was not the right choice; he freaked with all the blood) and finally got up the gumption to look in the mirror, I was missing part of a front tooth and had a pretty cut up, bruised, fat, lip. I was so sad about my tooth. We decided it would be best to bubble wrap the rest of the family, since we were dropping like flies :)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwUGhJgzjaLezw3BvoIppMoc3diWNYzVOgw-aqDXcw7swzBZgCCh7AA0hP8ukEpxuVkY_kOGTKEgzxe-iN1yM7ffIauQka5acs_BM0bO7PuXXUxikq4yKnlt_UTeL9jPtVbGZqFHAzxvcf/s1600/206.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwUGhJgzjaLezw3BvoIppMoc3diWNYzVOgw-aqDXcw7swzBZgCCh7AA0hP8ukEpxuVkY_kOGTKEgzxe-iN1yM7ffIauQka5acs_BM0bO7PuXXUxikq4yKnlt_UTeL9jPtVbGZqFHAzxvcf/s400/206.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> The "toothless"--Mason had just lost a front tooth</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtycmiNhcP8Qm6K5rJMgDpYKPrQMtY1HTAkJt_SYJjEGj73yTUcsT6Lp9pw2cVgJmS1Bebi5m16gqEX6GkiAqed5Mfq6t73t7KMXGitlCD2tj8I-5Q965ZdFqm7hbaYEbE0eJHzSuSzDXh/s1600/210.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtycmiNhcP8Qm6K5rJMgDpYKPrQMtY1HTAkJt_SYJjEGj73yTUcsT6Lp9pw2cVgJmS1Bebi5m16gqEX6GkiAqed5Mfq6t73t7KMXGitlCD2tj8I-5Q965ZdFqm7hbaYEbE0eJHzSuSzDXh/s320/210.JPG" width="320" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A close up of my ouchie...the underside of my lip looked more like hamburger and lots of bruising.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> Lucky for me, Micah had a return appointment to see the dentist on Monday, so I called early, and asked if I could come with and let the dentist see what he could do. { I silently wondered what child of his we were going to be putting through college with all of our recent dental visits. :)} I'm now sporting a temporary crown, and will get my real tooth in a couple of weeks. My lip still is pretty sore and black and blue, but nothing a little lipstick can't fix.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So that's what's kept us beginning this first month of the summer. Next month we are planning a vacation, the kids are going to camp, my parents are going take the kids for a week, and Steve and I will be celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary. We're also going to try to camp a weekend here or there. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div>Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-38747513760118507662011-05-25T00:56:00.003-05:002011-05-25T01:12:52.144-05:00Birthday pics<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXlctvremKOpRLlgvcssQ_9pu-fvzjOYaMus23ocl8g2SC6EHe74auQ1nTckZ8Ajvm0rlinhFOAVEIwWPeqES9ckNLYxY-J02MJzwd9P6eM8OX46vvga8hnQNPTUibBhHd2oR3mv492qrN/s1600/001.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXlctvremKOpRLlgvcssQ_9pu-fvzjOYaMus23ocl8g2SC6EHe74auQ1nTckZ8Ajvm0rlinhFOAVEIwWPeqES9ckNLYxY-J02MJzwd9P6eM8OX46vvga8hnQNPTUibBhHd2oR3mv492qrN/s400/001.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610531209339871122" border="0" /></a>Matthew's birthday was pretty low key. It was the big kids last day of school; so we picked them up and pretty much just hung out at home all day. It pretty much rained all day; so we stayed inside. For supper we grilled and had my brother and his girlfriend over. It was a quiet evening with lots of "happy birthday's" sung. It's Matthew's favorite song; last year we spent his birthday in the hospital due to the fact he had spinal cord detethering surgery, and we sang that song to him a million times. This year he proved he still loves it!<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeent1c-73KkimWLjaKWKd2hwl7GVymjmH7yMF01oq2z4Vsc6-HuxvP1asgu5LfABJhE8zqBcJs-hBbZhF93iGiUQPPzVZteX7JEQz1gNV2iBQlaoQ5QLba2pwOWhHpzqDImyiMNQZdfKz/s1600/046.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeent1c-73KkimWLjaKWKd2hwl7GVymjmH7yMF01oq2z4Vsc6-HuxvP1asgu5LfABJhE8zqBcJs-hBbZhF93iGiUQPPzVZteX7JEQz1gNV2iBQlaoQ5QLba2pwOWhHpzqDImyiMNQZdfKz/s400/046.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610530989721426642" border="0" /></a><br />Singing Happy Birthday to Matthew!<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYRC2bicT7uLkvDR8mH-u_e_h6CAOeYYkyIjW8qdTR9ilxNfYyjhjDbZ5N-yiQUE774jo3bfQLiZaJHIV_D2c-WHepT8z_GhHb9vV7DtIijX5W9SnR6MvlaQrLLdoE_InOeCHPxoRvtHN2/s1600/023.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 319px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYRC2bicT7uLkvDR8mH-u_e_h6CAOeYYkyIjW8qdTR9ilxNfYyjhjDbZ5N-yiQUE774jo3bfQLiZaJHIV_D2c-WHepT8z_GhHb9vV7DtIijX5W9SnR6MvlaQrLLdoE_InOeCHPxoRvtHN2/s400/023.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610530983469960914" border="0" /></a><br />He was all smiles most of the evening<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu5lgg-WWXgl_-X4lBdVueqXaVnepRUacBkeOLMpyT7UVNgE_C8s4Qa2f3UU5gmZAa0YQrRHlrqskWinIuVAW5Fnr-_XABfGIwJkw8uGDoAFXrPoEIPLcWUiGP3pK85Zn1DSa5ZV75CuDZ/s1600/038.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu5lgg-WWXgl_-X4lBdVueqXaVnepRUacBkeOLMpyT7UVNgE_C8s4Qa2f3UU5gmZAa0YQrRHlrqskWinIuVAW5Fnr-_XABfGIwJkw8uGDoAFXrPoEIPLcWUiGP3pK85Zn1DSa5ZV75CuDZ/s400/038.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610530979807777202" border="0" /></a><br />He joined us a the supper table for yummy food!<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghQuZ49KRHGYk_jT1Oki3SN9-LtVQZD7O-L0_P7tzu_9KlKogpEqNEHymGw_XnkLBwovjw9I95vPVHcORl77ObVQh9d_239-NflqWkmVqvAgWqW-q61yHF5_aquQnXZTd7YwaTpVa_m3qR/s1600/045.JPG"><br /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEFZGEBk2bj1Si6cDVYH37tZOt1sf4-6_opmfjRwasiC2B-BeYkpnUC0GxnvBrGcXpOx7DzR3jjsA5N4qCWiKzxI6d4VaAQ57f8zpiNykukX-N3YclsfOsCwcFfaa00vWs8LIDacuD7dfd/s1600/013.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEFZGEBk2bj1Si6cDVYH37tZOt1sf4-6_opmfjRwasiC2B-BeYkpnUC0GxnvBrGcXpOx7DzR3jjsA5N4qCWiKzxI6d4VaAQ57f8zpiNykukX-N3YclsfOsCwcFfaa00vWs8LIDacuD7dfd/s400/013.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610530968360316434" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Because he's our angel; he got an angel food cake for his birthday; topped with whip cream and strawberries. YUMM!!<br /></div></div>Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-22450072194642688382011-05-20T11:00:00.000-05:002011-05-22T00:05:27.294-05:00Happy Birthday, Matthew !!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSIAwjT-JyTyVvMTFBObxKyfS4lV56LQhSLmwz_ekQo2SVVQ14u5o67rNExcgYOjzuBlMJJs-v7s00aGREDyUw6EDBOul-KD_S9WGyuwLTUNvFFF6wq_ThneX4nClN-T3j_CglnlVH5LMJ/s1600/023.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 319px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSIAwjT-JyTyVvMTFBObxKyfS4lV56LQhSLmwz_ekQo2SVVQ14u5o67rNExcgYOjzuBlMJJs-v7s00aGREDyUw6EDBOul-KD_S9WGyuwLTUNvFFF6wq_ThneX4nClN-T3j_CglnlVH5LMJ/s400/023.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5609401814337773634" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">{More pictures to follow Monday!}<br /></div>Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-34776751106892299312011-05-13T17:23:00.003-05:002011-05-13T17:31:30.058-05:00Matthew's new hang outMatthew has a new place to hang out. Last year for his birthday, we bought Matthew and Ikea Ekorre swing. It's kinda like a hammock, and a swing all in one. Steve finally got around to hanging it in the house this weekend (almost 1 year later) and Matthew LOVES it! <br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimTQI0NqDFnZWWbG3V8FiX1_6JkHIb7UK8XlaEs311bInXOV7FVXsmAA8xeLG2J71CY4AtP7yncjRVlR7oTsVMRAFjfxWafWnzj3O8WX8MC6vHMfVcNS2ZZWaN9e-g7VMcAXzpJUqMurkI/s1600/014.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimTQI0NqDFnZWWbG3V8FiX1_6JkHIb7UK8XlaEs311bInXOV7FVXsmAA8xeLG2J71CY4AtP7yncjRVlR7oTsVMRAFjfxWafWnzj3O8WX8MC6vHMfVcNS2ZZWaN9e-g7VMcAXzpJUqMurkI/s400/014.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5606330556643499266" border="0" /></a><br />It hangs right in the middle of our living room.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJEObM0EjeNoPtJBRoHLor7-oOB68Cilb02POYwGF-h-zN8DkpzlFR_VrZ6goLK9mJ4fxXBJKHlhSKSyiwIlwft_E-Pepe7phV6NNTMCSD9zgiAdfFN6IaouWyXwHbGPYtwRIydG7NM-vE/s1600/016.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJEObM0EjeNoPtJBRoHLor7-oOB68Cilb02POYwGF-h-zN8DkpzlFR_VrZ6goLK9mJ4fxXBJKHlhSKSyiwIlwft_E-Pepe7phV6NNTMCSD9zgiAdfFN6IaouWyXwHbGPYtwRIydG7NM-vE/s400/016.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5606330561633615970" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Here's a picture from a distance so you can get an idea of what it looks like. It's held up in two studs with 5" lag screws. <br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZhZaKhKwMnUEc2a4IMbDKkc5Qae7MEZuPJU_NCosxebSyzgdnVVZtiMAMAf7lztI7PuS_JKD8F1BpyUdNFshz7tqgwhpbTCJy9pwK8qIEHAVnO80ZQqyZ7JUWB2frBGkVE1vekvNnXS2M/s1600/017.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 210px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZhZaKhKwMnUEc2a4IMbDKkc5Qae7MEZuPJU_NCosxebSyzgdnVVZtiMAMAf7lztI7PuS_JKD8F1BpyUdNFshz7tqgwhpbTCJy9pwK8qIEHAVnO80ZQqyZ7JUWB2frBGkVE1vekvNnXS2M/s400/017.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5606330567745174482" border="0" /></a>I expect many happy hours spent swinging and hanging out by Matthew!<br /></div>Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-53816519273974104082011-05-05T22:56:00.005-05:002011-05-07T13:43:04.481-05:00My teenager!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsvIHaEZ4uzesTKcph-hgH_gGjcrJNiKyAvoH1fMKurRG968nw6-cOebk2taP9Yxz66ZlRrzwe_SVHMteZQjmWsCygT9HgWFI_tHHNu5e9PW26P9301_E4ERvqme8LXa01DpSVNXPs4Rqh/s1600/DSCN1228.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5603457633075644050" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 345px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsvIHaEZ4uzesTKcph-hgH_gGjcrJNiKyAvoH1fMKurRG968nw6-cOebk2taP9Yxz66ZlRrzwe_SVHMteZQjmWsCygT9HgWFI_tHHNu5e9PW26P9301_E4ERvqme8LXa01DpSVNXPs4Rqh/s400/DSCN1228.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />Look at this handsome boy! I cannot believe I now am a mother to a teenager!<br /><br />I get very nostalgic on birthdays. We pull out the photo albums for the bigger kids (and the external hard drive for the younger ones...we don't print off pictures like "the good old days")<br /><br />I scanned in three of my favorite pictures from the 1st album (birth to about 18 months)<br /><br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzHAuMXjtUeSUfHvIExMBGwi2atHaYFdZZQc2kBCLQxEHsVqGH6rgN-_2_TVNZb-ykHXZiviDl0gtHyiKctjoZ1NV4q4DDQTKZC6mHAuqxodCK9JmPqDCp9o7UPPUsb2XyWeDtAhXWz89a/s1600/IMG_NEW.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5603457649890498898" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 306px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzHAuMXjtUeSUfHvIExMBGwi2atHaYFdZZQc2kBCLQxEHsVqGH6rgN-_2_TVNZb-ykHXZiviDl0gtHyiKctjoZ1NV4q4DDQTKZC6mHAuqxodCK9JmPqDCp9o7UPPUsb2XyWeDtAhXWz89a/s400/IMG_NEW.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Micah and I- I think he was two days old<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOJQgMzd53cZSE6k8E_i-m09B17SYw39oRHdAOST-iU-HQ_uRWcDnI-dD16pmHuEDt_EyLDqHTPP3pPk4wBS5CezVAS-kuFo6ZLrGEEK6HFB3qZgAyAGFp5JUg6o1mdqPAe2q81dIulLva/s1600/IMG_0002_NEW.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5603457649368770338" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 220px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOJQgMzd53cZSE6k8E_i-m09B17SYw39oRHdAOST-iU-HQ_uRWcDnI-dD16pmHuEDt_EyLDqHTPP3pPk4wBS5CezVAS-kuFo6ZLrGEEK6HFB3qZgAyAGFp5JUg6o1mdqPAe2q81dIulLva/s400/IMG_0002_NEW.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Family picture-Micah was about 6 or 7 months old<br /></div><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><br /></div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi59Cb7G9xMezkNS-_U3L84pNPVO17pgmVRnP04FIVvtufPHBzmgy9zdXKTlRhFiCLP-kRT2129GLX94xUyxCoFz7y0Wp_jiWoCJkq_hWE0jFmY1uRjf2v9L66Gre1D_Bl2ANgiD51Uig8N/s1600/IMG_0001.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5603457636836988226" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 268px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi59Cb7G9xMezkNS-_U3L84pNPVO17pgmVRnP04FIVvtufPHBzmgy9zdXKTlRhFiCLP-kRT2129GLX94xUyxCoFz7y0Wp_jiWoCJkq_hWE0jFmY1uRjf2v9L66Gre1D_Bl2ANgiD51Uig8N/s400/IMG_0001.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center">About 18 months old<br /></div><br /><br />I just realized all of these pictures I picked as my favorites were taken in my parents home. How interesting.<br /><br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center;font-family:webdings;" ><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="COLOR: rgb(102,51,255)">Happy, Happy Birthday Micah!!</span><br /><br /></span></span></div>Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-69570223036589918202011-05-01T11:41:00.000-05:002011-05-01T11:41:00.641-05:00The first of MayJust a quick update for everyone. Matthew is, well, Matthew. He got a cold 2 1/2 weeks ago; which we managed at home for about a week before he developed pneumonia. He got a trip to the local ER, and ambulance ride to the Children's hospital. The ambulance ride turned out to be a little traumatic for all parties involved when he decided to stop breathing in the ambulance shortly after we pulled out of the hospital. The episode was short lived; but the ambulance driver drove ALOT faster after that. I think Matthew didn't think we were going fast enough :) <br /><br />He only spent 24 hours in the hospital (thanks to some really great IV antibiotics), and was dismissed to recover at home, since we have oxygen, and IV supplies at home. He was on oxygen about a total of 10 days; and is almost fully recovered now.<br /><br />We have gotten approved by the state for more nursing hours; and I am now able to sleep ALL night 5 nights a week. TRUE BLISS. I am now a spoiled girl. I LOVE it. Matthew's night nurse is fantastic and takes great care of him. We are getting "day" care 2 times a week too with the same nurse we've had for over a year; so we are truly enjoying the wonderful team we have.<br /><br />The other kids are counting the days till summer break (3 weeks) and I am looking forward to it too!<br /><br />In 5 days I will have a teenager. Oh MY. I am not ready for that.<br /><br />Hopefully the next post will contain pictures of my growing chubby boy and his adorable siblings. Happy May day!Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-65486312895808311952011-04-08T14:22:00.002-05:002011-04-08T14:27:33.743-05:00Still hereJust wanted everyone to know we are still here. Matthew has good days and not so good days. He received his first botox injections today. The procedure was quick. The ENT said that it would start kicking in in the next few days. Hopefully we will see this help him. We will hopefully be able to decrease or even eliminate the Robinol medication. We will restart feedings in the next week to see if he will tolerate some feedings in his gut. If he does, we will start weaning him off TPN. I think this will be a slow steady process.<br /><br />Sorry I haven't had any updates. But there isn't anything to update about. Just normal day in, day out stuff. Rinse, wipe, repeat.Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-51317775263031115602011-03-18T21:53:00.002-05:002011-03-18T22:26:05.432-05:00Another good day!Bright and early Matthew and I along with our friend, Teresa, headed up to Omaha to meet with the ENT. He asked lots of questions, and answered our questions, and was on board for doing the Botox. He did say that Matthew will need to be in surgery for the procedure, but that the injections actually go in on the outside of the mouth, kind of in the cheek area, but he needs to be able to hold very still, so anesethesia is neccessary. He will have virtually no recovery period from it, only just waking up from anesthesia and 2 needle poke marks on each side of his face (similar to getting shots). This afternoon surgery scheduling called and scheduled for the 8th of April. They will call when it is sooner to give us a time.<br /><br />Matthew had another fantastic day. He threw up three times; and twice it was because he was throwing a major ATTITUDE and he was not happy about being messed with this morning. He was able to spend some time in his chair playing with his new toys he got from early development, and we went for a walk around the block to get some well needed vitamin D.<br />I am cherishing each and every good day and hoping the next will be as good.<br /><br />I was talking today about the fact that I write about how poorly Matthew is doing; how his doctor talks with us (and we had talked prior as a family) that he has been doing so poorly for so long and maybe this is our sign that Matthew is tired, and then he turns around and has GREAT days! While I am not ONE BIT unhappy about our wonderful days, I feel almost like we are crying wolf. He has been so sick on more than one occasion, we get ready for the worst, we prepare our family and Matthew proves that he is still fighting and God shows us "not yet." I don't like drama at all, and don't want any of the people reading thinking we're playing with their emotions. And I know that those of you who know us, know that isn't true; but sometimes I over analyze situations. My friend today told me, "the only thing constant about Matthew, is that he is constantly changing". Boy, isn't that the truth.<br /><br /> I HIGHLY believe in the power of prayer, and believe God has stepped in and intervened, at least for now. He has given us 2 really good days with Matthew, but I know things could swing the other way again in a heart beat; and God will still be in control. I still believe that God hears and answers our prayers, even if his answer would have been "no." Believe me, he surely has told me "no" this week. When you are faced with "making a decision", that is the last thing you as a parent want to do. This week, more than once, I begged God that if this was the end for Matthew, to please take him in his sleep before humans would make me make a decision. I didn't want to be "responsible". We love him too much to choose; but in another way, I knew that we love him ENOUGH that we could make the decision if we had too. That all being said, I don't want to have those thoughts for a long time. And I'm thankful God knows what the future is going to bring, and told me "no" this week. We're going to enjoy as many good days as we get.Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-14917632690803883322011-03-17T19:43:00.002-05:002011-03-17T21:33:05.043-05:00Storming the gatesWe're feeling the prayers! Oh my goodness! We are so thankful for all of those we know and those we don't that are praying for Matthew.<br /> Yesterday was a tough day. I debated even sharing anything until we knew for sure that we needed to make a decision. I was so sad yesterday. I needed to process it; and processing is equivilent to writing for me. I hate to get people worried unnessessarily. I don't think we are at an unnessessary point though. It's scary to think you have one more medical option, and "that's it." The idea of having to "choose" what is best for our son is scary. How do we know for sure if we are making the right decision?? What if we're missing something? All those thoughts are swirling through my head. And what on earth will I do without this little guy?? My mind and my thoughts overtook me yesterday. So I wrote. And I'm thankful I did. The outpouring of love we are feeling and the prayers that are storming heavens gates are amazing!!<br /> We talked with his pediatrician late evening and she wanted us to give a dose the medication to help with secrections(Robinol) in the middle of the night. That will mean us getting up every night to give an IV medication, but she wonders if that will help get on top of his secretions. Also, with help from some diastat (that we used to stop the crazy seizures last evening) Matthew slept all night. His nurse was with him today; and I was able to get out of the house. I purposely didn't want to think about what was happening at home. I went and got a hair cut, and a coffee. When I got back around noon, his nurse was happy to report that he had done well for her so far. He had kept his medications down and hadn't gagged at all. They were snuggling and he seemed so much more content. His day continued uneventful. The most UNEVENTFUL day we've had in a LONG time. I took him outside today on a blanket and let him get some fresh air. He's been super content all evening.<br />Tonight, about 30 minutes before his evening dose of Robinol was due, he started coughing, and sounded really "wet". Within 15 minutes of giving the Robinol, he settled down and was breathing more comfortably. I'm hoping tomorrow that the ENT is completely on board with the Botox. I can't completely guarantee that his good day can be attributed to the extra medication; if fact I would almost guarentee you it was all the prayers that were sent up! <br />We sure are hoping the good days continue!! We know we have more of a battle, as one day does not make or break it for Matthew, and he is REALLY good at throwing in curve balls, but it's a step in the right direction!! I want a million more days like today! I'll take as many as God gives us!Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7615841844278428679.post-16026877411763252792011-03-16T15:09:00.003-05:002011-03-16T21:45:20.424-05:00Back at it againMatthew was home for about 12 hours before the vomiting ensued. He has not kept his meds down for three days and is having numerous yucky seizures. He has now had three where he completely quit breathing for 45 seconds to 1 minute. The poor guy is having a rough go.<br /><br />We took him to our pediatricians office today for a follow-up from the hospital. We discussed everything we have tried, and what we have left to try. Basically there are two surgeries we could do that would keep his medications down, but they wouldn't stop the retching. Both surgeries Steve and I are unwilling to put Matthew through; because they wouldn't solve the problem and his discomfort of retching. They would merely provide us a way "to keep him alive". Our pediatrician agrees whole-heartedly that that is the best decision for Matthew.<br /><br />We meet with an ENT on Friday to discuss botox for Matthew's salivary glands. It is a fairly simple procedure that would make his salivary glands not produce saliva. We believe that a good portion of Matthew's issue is that he makes A LOT of saliva, and he has a super sensitive gag reflex. He also has difficulties swallowing his secretions, so when they build up, it gags him and then he can't stop. He is on a medication right now to help dry up his secretions, but it's not enough. We are hoping that this procedure will help Matthew. He will most likely have to be sedated as it includes putting a needle in his mouth; but it is our best chance at giving him happy days.<br /><br />Right now, for the most part, Matthew's days are not comfortable. He throws up and retches alot, is having horrible seizures, and is generally uncomfortable. Our family has two goals or "must have's" for Matthew. Comfort and happiness. Right now we aren't achieving those. In a tearful conversation with our pediatrician, she discussed that if the botox doesn't help; we don't have any other options to make him comfortable and living. None. We will at that time need to make a decision about what is best for Matthew. Being alive and "living" are two different things. Right now Matthew is alive, but not living. He is having more bad days than good. And I don't want to put him through hell just to keep him on this earth. That is not life. And we are not willing to subject him to that just so he can be "alive".<br /><br />Would you pray with us as we may have to make some incredibly hard decisions over the next few days and weeks? We love Matthew so much; and we want to do what is best for him and what keeps him the most comfortable.Jill S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16844924489718494698noreply@blogger.com16