Matthew had his 9 month appointment today. It's so funny to remember how I was so excited with the other kids to go to these visits. So excited to see how big they were and brag about all that they were doing. Now, I actually dread them and consider cancelling right up to the hour I go. I get sick of the nurses asking, "is he __________ (insert any developmental milestone a baby of 9 months should be doing, sitting up, rolling over, etc)" and I continually answer 'no'. How frustrating. And, today they had me fill out this 2 page form on developmental things to which I got to check the "not yet" box on EVERY single question. I was in tears by the end of the paper. When I gave it to Matthew's doctor, she looked at it and said, "oh, I'm sorry; the front desk shouldn't have given this to you". I looked at her and said "Yeah, that was a tough one." I think she genuinely felt bad, but oh that put me over the top. And big surprise, Matthew hasn't gained any weight. He's was 15 lbs 4 oz. He's been in the high 14 to low 15 pounds since November. He was 26 1/4 inches long and head circumference was 47 cm's. So He's gained only 6 lbs and grown 5 inches in 9 months.
Tuesday at 1:30 Matthew has his g-button surgery. I'm less than excited about it, but I'm hoping it's for the best. It kills me to think about sending my baby off to surgery AGAIN. I'm emotionally drained, so I'm probably making a bigger deal out of it than it really is. We really just don't have anywhere to go other than a button. The NG tube irritates his throat and he won't take his medications; plus he's not gaining any weight. I guess we know it's time. I wouldn't have made the decision otherwise. Hopefully, bearing no complications, we'll be home Wednesday. I am ready to stay far, far away from the hospital.
Time for me to head off to bed, it's going to be a busy day!
8 comments:
My thoughts and prayers are with you today. I can identify with how difficult it is to send them to surgery especially when you've in the hospital a lot lately. It just has a way of zapping everything from you. I'm praying for peace and renewed strength for you.
I'm also hopeful and excited for the benefits this G-tube will be for Matthew...and for you in caring for him.
Lots of love!!
All I can think of to say is, *hug*! For both you and the little guy. The G-tube will be easier for you in the long run, and I pray that it will help him to grow. But I know that feeling of having surgery again. So hugs to you both!
Jill....I checked your blog just before I went to bed last night and it was still the 'GRRR....' one. And then I woke up and this new post was waiting. I bet you were typing it out last night while I was visiting your blog :)
Anyways, I am glad that you finally do have a new post. I was thinking about you and wondering how you were. But I am sorry that you have discouraging news to report.
I think that with children like ours it's important not to compare them to others {which is SO hard for me}
A few weeks back someone wrote something as a comment that was quite touching and I always think about it:
Elisabeth {or Matthew in this case} is perfect, in an imperfect world.
How true! Yes, they have their physical problems, but think of all that they won't face. They won't know sin, or temptations, or of all the ugly things that go on in this world. They will live in 'their own world' feeling loved by their families and feeling no pressure from the 'real world' to be or act certain ways. Does any of that make sense? It makes sense in my mind but I am having a kind of hard time translating my thoughts into words.
Long story short: he's perfect!
I hope everything goes well with the surgery. I'll be thinking of your family all day tomorrow :)
Jill & Matthew & Family...We are praying & will be praying today at 1:30pm when Matthew has his surgery. May God give the Doctors & Nurses an extra portion of wisdom and skill.
OK, so I just realized that TODAY is Tuesday and that his surgery is TODAY not tomorrow! sorry..I am out of it.
So prayers coming your way from Washington TODAY! :)
Jill- We're praying for a quick and uneventful hospital stay.I can't wait to see Matthew grow big and strong after he gets going on his g-tube. As for the well-child visit...those lists just stink. Just remember that your little guy is perfect to his creator and perfect to all those who love him--which is all that matters ;)
I love Lisa's comment. It gives a sense of peace to think of a life knowing nothing but love without the cares. My husband has a cousin with Down's. She is the happiest person you will ever meet, and Lisa's comment makes me understand why.
Praying right NOW!
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