Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I saw God today

If you listen to country music, then the title of this post will mean something to you- I do like that song! But, more importantly, I want to tell you something that I've been wanting to post for a long time. I've been trying to compose it in my mind, and I think I'm ready to write it.

See, since Matthew was born, my whole life has changed. Maybe it's just my perspective on things. I've been given new eyes to see things in a different light, so to say. I've often wondered, 'why our family'; 'why our precious, innocent baby'; 'Matthew shouldn't have to suffer'; 'why, God?, why?' Pity party, pity party. And then I think, God doesn't give us more than we can handle; so I guess He must've overestimated (by a long shot) what I can handle. I'm pretty sure he isn't remembering how weak I am.
But then I here this still, small, voice. 'I will not leave you or forsake you; I am with you always.' And just recently, it's really been revealed to me just how He's taking care of our family. He's blessing us, BEYOND BELIEF! How, you ask? Well, in phenomenal ways. And guess what, he's using all of you to do it! God is manifesting himself through so many people. Let me show you how God is taking care of us. See He hasn't left us. He knows our every need. We have not been left wanting. Quite the opposite! Our every need has been taken care of. I would like to give just a small glimpse of what an awesome God we serve.

The Lord has given us an amazingly supportive family. From our parents and siblings, to grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. We are blessed!
He's given us amazing friends. We are surrounded by wonderful, wonderful people that we are proud to call friends!
He's given us a wonderful group of people to call our 'church family'.
He's given me are the awesome group of women to work with. I dare say, I work with the best people EVER!
He's also given me a connection to people that I truly can call friends that I've 'met' through the internet. They are walking a similar walk as our family.
And all of our family and these friends we know through various affiliations have shown us there support in various ways. From praying for us, bringing us meals, giving me an ear and shoulder to cry on, phone calls, notes, kind words, comments and encouragement on my blog, setting up a bake sale, providing schooling for our 3 older children; the list goes on and on. Each one has come EXACTLY when we needed it. If I was having a bad day, for sure someone would call or be available to listen or whatever I needed, someone would be there to do it without even asking. God was working through them. They were blessing me and the timing was perfect. God's caring hand--stretched out in the form of friends and family. The crazy thing is, no matter how I say thank-you it seems that there is not enough words to express my gratitude.
And coming to the realization of God's protective hand through them is even more humbling.

He's also given Matthew an amazing set of people to provide care for him. I truly can say that we have an awesome team of people caring for Matthew. He has an AMAZING pediatrician, pediatric neurosurgeon and I really do even like his main neurologist, too (I know that's been a source of my frustration - but let me tell you- it's not that she not amazing and smart; she's just overworked) We are also VERY fortunate to have a great Early Intervention coordinator advocating for Matthew's needs. He has the most caring, experienced Occupational Therapist that comes into our home every week.
I'm sure that God orchestrated each person to be in the right place to be part of Matthew's life. It makes me think how God put each person in our lives. With all of the neurologists we've worked with, his main neurologist is very caring, smart and a good personality fit for me. I'm scared to think how I would feel if one of the on-call neurologists we've come in contact was his neurologist. I'm sure they are smart in they're own way , but I know I would be a wreck if I had to deal with them on a regular basis!
I also often wonder why we bought the house we did 5 years ago. It was on the verge of being too small when we bought it and now we're crammed. In fact, before I got pregnant we tried to sell it. But no-one, I mean NO ONE even looked at it while it was on the market. I know we would have moved out of city limits had we sold our home; or at least out of this neighborhood. Lincoln Public schools is known for VERY good early intervention services (these are the people that provide therapies for Matthew) I would hate to think of not having them to work with. And if we would have stayed in Lincoln, but moved out of our area, we would not have the same team of intervention staff working with us. I'm sure there are plenty of good teams throughout Lincoln, but ours is phenomenal! (Maybe I'm a bit prejudiced) God knew who would be the best for our family- and we've got them. I now know why our house didn't sell!

Wow, look at that list! Now that is literally HUNDREDS of people, I'm not kidding HUNDREDS! God has put all these people in our lives! He knew exactly what our family needed.

People keep telling me, "wow, your so strong" ," I don't know how you do it" and all I can think, is ' I'm not'. I keep wondering what they see; because I don't see myself as strong at all. But, I think if they see strength, then it is God who is strengthening me. And I'm realizing how much Matthew is changing my life and perspective, for the better! I literally get to see God- everyday! And leaning on Him for my every need is something I want to learn to do. He is showing me every so patiently how to do this. I don't know how much luckier you can get!


Kim said...

If only you knew what a blessing your family has been to others. I'm so thankful I know all of you!

Sherri said...

It is truly amazing to step back and look at how intricate and perfect God's plan is for our lives. It would be so easy to have a different perspective of life...What a blessing that God has you in that place where you can see your life as he sees it!

Echoes of Mercy said...

What a testimony, Jill! Looking for God in every moment is something that we all should do...but something we often forget. Thank you for sharing your "God moments" to remind ME to look for my own. What an amazing God we serve.

Prayers contining!


Lisa said...

I enjoyed reading this. I feel the same as you...completely blessed. Isn't it amazing how life just works out perfectly??...and we know it's not by chance :)

tzuerlein said...

Hi Jill and Matthew,

This is Teresa. I'm typing from home. I'm so glad you had your Mom update for you and also that you have family to keep you company in MN. Jill, the medical care and testing sound amazing and meeting other families who live close to Lincoln in the same facility and boat in life - priceless. It sounds like they are on the "cutting edge" and you feel confident in their care. You're the best judge of that and a good one at that. Take care and can't wait to see you and Matthew back in Lincoln. This Thanksgiving, I give thanks for being able to work with people and families like you.