Tuesday, July 20, 2010

26 months

Hard to believe this little guy has been in our life for 26 months.

Hard to believe how much our lives have been changed since his arrival. It's hard to remember what it was even like before.

Sometimes I sit and daydream about what our life would be like had Matthew been born "typical". What would it be like to have an active, busy 2 year old around the house? Talking and walking and getting into everything, annoying his brothers and sister. Just typing that makes me a bit teary. I see other boys that about Matthews age running around and wonder if their parents truly appreciate the normalcy that they have.

But our lives have also changed for good. Matthew has given us a perspective we would have never gotten otherwise. To appreciate each day. To be in awe at the kindness of strangers. To be in even more awe at the support from friends. To be brought to tears because of the depth of love from our families.

I've made so many friendships had it not been for Matthew. Friendships I cherish. I belong to a new club. One I didn't exactly ask to join. One most of my friends that have always known me don't understand and can't join. But that's okay.

Matthew has so much joy and has taught me so much. Would I change it? Yes and no. I would not change the life lessons I have learned. I would not change the fact that Matthew is here. I would only wish to change the pain and struggles Matthew has gone through.

I am not the same person I was 2 1/2 years ago. I hope I am a better person because of Matthew. I know I am stronger.

And if Matthew can go through all he goes through, and still have the sweetest personality and a big smile on his face; then who am I to complain?? He is content...and is teaching me the same.

11 comments:

sherrilee said...

Jill- This post in incredible. While I did not know you before you "joined the club", I can say with 100% certainty that you are a better person now. Not everyone can go through what you've been through and still have a smile and a loving attitude (and a sense of humor). You are a remarkable lady- And Matthew, pure and simple an angel from above.

Kristen said...

Oh Jill, you made me cry! You are so beautiful and I absolutely appreciated reading these dear words of yours today. I understand them. I see growth in myself too. And something you might not know is how much I have grown because of you as well. I feel sweetly blessed to be in this club with you and have found a true kindrid spirit. A friend for life! May God bless you and that dear sweet little angel of yours that we know as Matthew.

Anonymous said...

Dear Matthew, happy birthday to you! I have been reading about you and your family for about a year and I think all of you are wonderful! Brigitte from Vienna/Austria/Europe

Lisa said...

I totally get it. And I am so glad we're in 'the club' together :)

Tyler said...

Very well said Jill. I agree with you, we weren't asked to join "this club" but I am so glad we are all in this club together. We make this club stronger and I am so glad to be able to go through this together. I couldn't ask for a better support group.

Diane, Tyler's mom

Hannon! said...

Beautifully expressed. Joining the "group" was a hard thing to grasp for me at first and then after finding all of these other families who deal with the same thing and even more, I find comfort knowing I'm not the only one. Matthew is a joy to watch grow! He has the most amazing smile.

Anonymous said...

Happy twenty-six month birthday Matthew! Its little smiling angels like YOU who make doing what I do worth every second of every day! You and your very special momma are two of te most inspiring, loving and awesomely amazing people I have ever had the joy of meeting! Love - Kilee

Chrissy said...

Jill & Matthew....thank you for impacting me in such an amazing and loving way!....although I am not "part of the club"....it is because of Matthew (and his amazing abilities) that I know you. :) We really should get together again and just "hang out" (Matthew that is aka: not work). :) Have a blessed day!

Michelle said...

Oh Goodness. I am just so far behind in my blogging, how could I have missed Matthew's second birthday?!

Happy birthday, just a little late, but heartfelt all the same. You have a wonderful Momma and I am blessed to call her my friend.

Adrienne said...

Hi-not sure how I came across your blog but my friend is pregnant with triplets and one has hydrocephalus. I happen to have a son with Down syndrome so I can relate to your post. I'm so wrapped up in my own Down syndrome world and what it means for our family but my friends recent diagnosis has opened my eyes to other children with special needs and even though our sons have different issues, it's neat to know we have a common bond. Your son is precious! And I may not be part of your club, I am part of another club that I never thought I wanted to join but seems like we're all part of an even bigger club-if that makes since. Anyways, just thought I'd let you know your post touched me:)

David said...

time for a new post!

good to finally meet the soldatkes. now i can put a face to the name on lisa's blog!