Recently I read this post written by another special needs mom who talked about being her child being "secretly disabled" when he was little. One of things she talked about was the comments she would get about her son when he was little. I have to say that sometimes this is one of the hardest things for me. See in our home, in our world, Matthew is well, Matthew. He looks and acts normal to us. Well, his normal. I often forget what outsiders see.
Take for instance; last week, I was getting a couple things at Target and took Matthew with. He was in his stroller (wheelchair) WIDE AWAKE, and the clerk made the comment; "Wow, he is sacked out! What a great way to be able to get all of your shopping done!" I just smiled politely.
And then the other day, Mason had forgot his lunch and I had to run it to him at school. His room is fairly close to the front door, it's a small school, and I was in a hurry. So I didn't put Matthew in his wheelchair. I just grabbed him and carried him in. At the front door, a man I didn't recognize said "Wow, he couldn't get any limper if he tried!" Well. What do you say to that?
I just don't know what to say. Katy, said it in her comments section so well. She said she is not hurt or offended, it makes her feel uncomfortable, and likened it to when people call you the wrong name by accident. I hear these comments so often, that the "human-ness" in me wants to set them straight. But I know they don't mean ill-will to their comments. And I know the right answer is, that I am supposed to use these comments as education moments. I mean, I could pull everyone that says something aside and give them a 15 minute speech about Matthew, but that could be very cumbersome and uncomfortable for the reciever or my message. I just usually smile politely and keep going. I mean, they are noticing him right?? Which it is pretty hard not to notice his amazing cuteness :) :)
I am not ashamed of Matthew, quite the contrary. And I'm not looking for sympathy by writing this. I'm just putting my feelings out there, because, by judging the comments written in Katy's blog; I'm not alone. A lot of us deal with this. And writing is the way I process things. So thank you all , for my free therapy session. :) I think I feel better.
If you have time, read the post I linked to above. Then read the comments. It's a good read. Promise.