Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Today....

was a rough day.

Matthew has been very uncomfortable. I'm guessing this tethered spinal cord is getting the best of him. As the tethering gets worse, the nerves that control the lower part of the body are stretched, which causes all kinds of problems. He is unable to empty his bladder at all. His legs spasm in pain for minutes at a time. He screams for hours on end. He is either sleeping or screaming.

We had decided to celebrate Matthew's birthday tomorrow, per all the comments in the comment section. But with all the pain he is having, he will not be interested in celebrating, no matter what day it is.

I'm been having a big time feeling sorry for myself day. I've been in a poor mood today. I've cried at the drop of a hat. I've been angry. It just makes me crazy mad to think that just when we get one thing taken care of, another problem pops up. And not getting much sleep last night makes it even worse. So here I sit, still feeling sorry for myself. Not ready to take on the next 48 hours, much less the recovery period after surgery.

I'm hoping for some sleep tonight and a better day tomorrow. We had 1 doctor appointment, lab work and a chest xray today, and a doctor appointment tomorrow. Mason graduates from preschool tomorrow night. And then surgery. Yes, I think I can. I think I can make it.


9 comments:

The James Family said...

Praying for you - it's so rough sometimes but praying God will see you through and give you strength that is beyond your understanding. Praying Matthew will sleep well and get some much needed relief and will be on the mend quickly! Praying he will be back to his smiling self soon... (he's got a killer smile! :) The whole situation really sucks but God will see you through and hopefully Matthew will be back to feeling good in no time!
Covering you in prayers!! A very Happy EARLY Birthday to Matthew - may you guys have a great time and also a very happy graduation!

Michelle said...

*hugs* I think you are due a few days of feeling overwhelmed, and you are welcome to them - completely guilt free. So *hugs* to you and Matthew!

Kristen said...

It doesn't make any sense, does it my friend? Why does Matthew have so many issues to overcome? It's hard as a parent watching your child be miserable and hurt. I have gone before God on Matthew's behalf so many times asking, wondering, begging Him to help that sweet little boy be well. I won't cease praying, I promise. I wish I could be with you. I have so many hugs I want to give you.

Candace said...

Sure sending some hugs your way...Poor little Mattew. You can make it thru, friend. Things will get better after he recovers from surgery, right? Prayers....

Tyler said...

My prayers are with you and Matthew. I pray the surgery goes well tomorrow and he has a quick recovery.

Diane, Tyler's mom

Chrissy said...

Prayers and Hugs!...please let me know if I can do anything else to help! :)

Colette said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers ...Matthew and the Surgeons too! Keep strong, God is good and is with us during times like this! I pray that you get peace and strength to get through this time and for the surgery to go well and that God will look after Matthew. Love and nest wishes ....

Kilee said...

Jill-
I am so guilty of stalking you!! Just wanted to let you know I am praying for you guys during this stressful time! Please let me know if there is ANYthing I can do to help out! God has a special plan for that sweet little guy of yours! Happy early birthday Matthew!
-Kilee

Lisa said...

Thoughts and prayers today....