Matthew had his 9 month appointment today. It's so funny to remember how I was so excited with the other kids to go to these visits. So excited to see how big they were and brag about all that they were doing. Now, I actually dread them and consider cancelling right up to the hour I go. I get sick of the nurses asking, "is he __________ (insert any developmental milestone a baby of 9 months should be doing, sitting up, rolling over, etc)" and I continually answer 'no'. How frustrating. And, today they had me fill out this 2 page form on developmental things to which I got to check the "not yet" box on EVERY single question. I was in tears by the end of the paper. When I gave it to Matthew's doctor, she looked at it and said, "oh, I'm sorry; the front desk shouldn't have given this to you". I looked at her and said "Yeah, that was a tough one." I think she genuinely felt bad, but oh that put me over the top. And big surprise, Matthew hasn't gained any weight. He's was 15 lbs 4 oz. He's been in the high 14 to low 15 pounds since November. He was 26 1/4 inches long and head circumference was 47 cm's. So He's gained only 6 lbs and grown 5 inches in 9 months.
Tuesday at 1:30 Matthew has his g-button surgery. I'm less than excited about it, but I'm hoping it's for the best. It kills me to think about sending my baby off to surgery AGAIN. I'm emotionally drained, so I'm probably making a bigger deal out of it than it really is. We really just don't have anywhere to go other than a button. The NG tube irritates his throat and he won't take his medications; plus he's not gaining any weight. I guess we know it's time. I wouldn't have made the decision otherwise. Hopefully, bearing no complications, we'll be home Wednesday. I am ready to stay far, far away from the hospital.
Time for me to head off to bed, it's going to be a busy day!